Still Here.....

We're still in L.A. but about to hop a plane home. I'll write as much as I can, then more tomorrow. I didn't post yesterday because, in all honesty, I was very disappointed in myself. Taping the commercial was far more difficult than I thought it would be. It was hard to be "real." I don't know why. Maybe it's that I felt all this pressure to be perfect for my Mom. Maybe it's because of the 12 hours of taping they're doing, only 60 seconds will be in the commercial. Maybe it's because I kept thinking how Mom would have totally dug it -- she would have wanted to know every last detail.

So it was hard. It felt canned. I was so disappointed, I asked to be brought back today -- even if they were going to give us the day off.

And they brought me back.

And in many ways I feel redeemed by that. Today was a completely different atmosphere. With the exception of a couple of people who went sight-seeing since they weren't shooting today, we were all there. And the energy was amazing.

(Yes, Biggs, it was AMAZING!)

As I've said earlier, each one of us who was there has a story. And I'm not really sure why Suzi and I were brought out here, but I think it was so we could be a part of Stephanie's story.



You see, dear, sweet, precious Stephanie has a layer of baby fuzz on her head where her hair is growing back in. We rubbed it for good luck. She was our little Buddha.

Stephanie had four hours of chemo on Thursday then flew out here Friday. That's four hours of drugs being pumped into her body to hold at bay the breast cancer that has invaded her. It's in her liver. A new drug for bone cancer was added on Thursday. Four drugs -- she had no idea what the combination was going to do to her physically.

Stephanie gets tired -- we knew she did. But she and her son David walked the walk in Dallas last week. And then they came out here to make a precious memory. And they did. And in the process they changed all our lives as well.

This morning we cheered and danced and celebrated to help keep Stephanie "in the mood" while she did still shots. Cheers like "Knead your Knockers" and "Polish your Apples" and "Check your Chi-Chi's" and "Squeeze your Oranges" and my all-time favorite.... "We must! We must! We must preserve our Busts!!!" (Judy Blume would love that, wouldn't she?)

That was the highlight of the weekend, I think. Being a part of something so precious.

This morning they did group still shots with Stephanie -- and I was so HONORED to be included in those. With tears running down my face.

When we were done, they pulled me back over to video and let me finish what I started yesterday. They all knew I wasn't happy with myself -- that somehow I felt I'd let my Mom down. And this is what I shared....

I think so much of what the 3-Day means to me was exemplified in this weekend. Suzi and I were talking -- why do we have such a connection with these people we just met? Or the ones we meet while we're on the walk? And I think it's because in many cases we've almost lost them -- and we didn't even know it. They've faced cancer -- in many cases multiple cancers -- and we never even knew. We've been blessed by them -- but we almost missed it.

They're calling us to get on the plane. So I've got to run. Pictures and more tomorrow.

Much love,
D'Lyn