I've been in a really reflective zone lately. Some might call it moping. I don't know. I've just been thinking a lot. This has been a tough Christmas. I think last year we were all so numb still that we just "got through it." But this year, not so much. Maybe it's PMS come early or something -- but I'm feeling weepy. Sad. Dis-jointed. Pissy. Kind of like I've misplaced my compass.
For those who worry.... I haven't fallen down again. I promise. I would tell you if I did. If I knew, that is. But for now, I know I haven't.
And since it wouldn't be the Christmas I wanted it to be, no matter what I did, I set out to make it a totally perfect Christmas in a totally different way.
You should have seen the table on Christmas day. Red tablecloth & napkins. A mix of mine & Mom's Spode Christmas dishes. Tons of food. It was beautiful.
But it didn't do the trick because I still wanted the old Christmas back. And that kind of shadowed everything. And of course, it was all capped off by finding my drowned Crackberry. (BTW... The whole "put it in rice to dry it out" trick? Doesn't work.)
I know, I know. Would I land the plane already???
Here's the deal, I know I have about four regular readers on here who check the blog about 1500 times a day to make that counter jump. Right?
But who else is reading all this? I've really been wondering.
So hey, even if you've never, ever left a comment before, please leave one. And if you have a blog, please leave the link. I'd love to know who you are.
I need to do some looking forward. This looking back stuff just isn't all it's cracked up to be.
(And Amanda Walls, that includes you. I've lost your link and can't find it anywhere.)
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16 comments:
You know I read you and keep up with you- I am sorry for the funk you are in - I wish I could help but I know that only time will help you sort out what you need to feel, think, say, do etc... for now - know that I love you and my life has been richer for having you in it. By the way Cooper wants to know "mommy when are we going back to see auntie d'lyn- I like her"! Hugs to you my friend!
I'm always here "keeping up with the Biggs Bunch" =) I'm a very consistent stalker who sometimes logs in just to hear happy music & get up & shake my tail feathers. Know that you have more people than you know that you touch with your love & charm & wit & passion. I'm here if you need anything/
D'Lyn, I am a regular reader, your blog usually makes me smile and you write well!! I do not have a blog but have our fundraising website www.aussamfundraising.com , Austin has been working on it over the break and we know there are a few mistakes but they are currently in the mountains and do not have internet service.
Hope to see the Boobie mobile around the AVON walk....I will be with the kids in bright yellow shirts, I am the Youth Crew Division Leader.
Wishing all the Biggs a very Happy New Year!
Kimberly
Yes, I keep up with the Biggs. It was so good to see yall over the holidays. Monte has been cleaning out files this past week and came home complaining about the getting up and down and I told him - now, you know how Sue felt! Always love seeing pics and especially of the girls - so we can see them grow up.
Had not missed your Mom as much as when you posted a past Christmas pic. That was a really good pic. So yeah, you have some faithful readers.
Hey D-
Yes, I read your ramblings and your rants and I enjoy it all.
I don't have a blog...no time to write b/c I read everyone else's!
julie
I came across your blog about a year ago- through my cousin's fundraising page for the 3-day walk. I came across your blog one night and sat there for at least an hour reading and weeping. You really touched my heart with your story! Then, I returned to your blog and found it so entertaining- you write so well, have fun stories, special prayer requests (and I do pray for those people) and I love your poiltical views too! Even though I don't know you-you're an inspiration to me and I really admire you! I've even forwareded your link to some of my friends and have said- if you're ever bored, read this blog!! I check it often and love it!! I think God gave you a great gift and you've probably touched more people than you will ever know with your blog. Keep up the great work!!
I try and check in once a day some times I let a few days go by but always go back to see what I've missed. I feel like bloggers are special friends. In our busy little world we don't have time to call up and visit all the time with all our friends but it's nice to have those special friends that let you know by blogging what's going on in their world. Love ya,
Michelle
I popped over quite some time ago from Danielle's site. I was captured at first by the 3 day walk information. My mom, grandmother, and all of the aunts on my mom's side have had breast cancer. Then, I kept coming back to read funny stories and to be entertained.
I really do check in nearly everyday. Love your blog! Would love to have one of my own but know it wouldn't be nearly as entertaining :)
Hey lady, this snow bunny reads it often. Maybe not daily, but enough to check in on you guys and to hear how you're doing. It truly does make me smile and I just like seeing how happy you make my friend John and how truly beautiful your family is!!
Love ya tons. I'm here if you ever need someone to talk to!!
Marie
I LOVE your blog--It's how I either start or end most days! Weird thing--my monitor went out the day you left, mysteriously while Rebeckah and Lane were working on the Webkins site. It's somehow back "on" today, but I don't know for how long. As we watched you pull out of our drive, headed for your childhood home I knew this would be a hard time for you. You have been in my prayers most especially this Christmas season. When I was two, my grandfather and an uncle were killed in a plane crash in the middle of Sonora on Christmas Eve. Two years ago I lost my other grandfather just days before Christmas. For me Christmas has always been a very bittersweet time. Perhaps because it is almost all I have ever known to mourn at Christmas, I have come to a very strange peace with it all--somewhere between sadness and loss and times never known, and the incredible hope that we celebrate in the birth of the babe who would change the world and give us all the chance to once again be together one day. I think for you it won't ever be "the same", but I pray that you will find a peace also and know that Christmas must be so beautiful in heaven! I wish I had words to truly comfort you. Please know that you are in our prayers and our hearts!
Love you!
Kelly
What kind of sister would I be if I didn't check on you and my nieces? And John too! Yes, i check your blog daily. I even copy and paste the funnier ones into emails to friends. Yes, this was a hard Christmas. I think because I was soo caught up in the cruise excitement that i didn't have that distraction this time. Gee Papa, I think we all need to go on another Christmas cruise!
A'Lise
D'Lyn, I read your blog pretty regularly :o)
I check your blog on a regularly. Javin checks it more often than I do. She is always telling me something D'Lyn said or did. I think I know how you are feeling. Last Christmas was our first Christmas without Dad. It was still hard this year. I guess it always will be. I'll be praying for you, cuz!
Hey girl! I just started reading (since you won on my website). This Blog caught my attention. I'm there with ya. I am so sorry about your Mom. I have not lost my Mom & I can't even imagine what that feels like and my heart just hurts for you. But I know what you mean about being in a 'funk' this holiday season. My family (Grandmother...the old wise one) has decided this was her last year to 'do Christmas'. After 50 years...its over. We are on our own to create traditions, etc. This Christmas just felt weird; I was prepared, I didn't spend a lot of money, I didn't go nuts running around, but I was just 'out of sorts'. Chris and I decided to start making it about us and next year we are out of here!!! We are taking Nina & my Mom to Keystone to play in the snow. Life is short and there is so much to see in this world...and the twisted changing weather patterns of a Texas winter are KILLING me and getting me in a funky mood!! ARGH! Isn't it funny how we allow the weather to determine our 'mind state'? That's my mantra for today. Yes, I am running away from my problems. lol! But I am coming back. I love Texas, I just need a break from the old gal.
I read it and I know Samantha does too.
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