I know.... I know.... I promised you a new, improved Empty Nesterhood blog; and I'm back to talking about the kids. BUT you can't put the cart before the horse. And until you get those chickens out of your house, you can't bask in the beauty of lazy Saturday mornings without softball tournaments.
Abbie's college acceptance process was all about softball, so her path was on a fall-semester timeline. And Kait's was smack in the middle of the COVID epidemic. Kait wanted to spread her wings out of state. When the first couple of college applications didn't go as planned, I admit we went a bit overboard. Okay. A LOT overboard.
Kait finished high school in December 2020, but didn't officially graduate until May 2021. She spent that spring in Costa Rica with CIEE (that's a whole post for another day.) She flew home in March for a week, and knew she had to make a decision. We hashed the pros and cons of 17 college acceptances, and Virginia Tech won! Our girl is a Hokie! A junior civil engineering major, ZTA, and all-around rockstar.
And this is what I learned....
We are currently in the height of college acceptance season. Ivy Day is about a month away. If your graduate isn't likely to receive an Ivy acceptance, now is your time to shine as a parent!
* Join the parent pages. Most schools have a parent page on Facebook. Some are great. Some are less than great. I know I'm biased, but I have to tell you the Hokie Family page is the best I've ever seen -- and I've looked at a lot of them. This is a great way to find out if your graduate will find their fit at their chosen school. A great way to find answers to a ton of questions. AND a great way to find out if they'll be safe in their new home. I can tell you the parent page for one school is the sole reason we gave it a wide berth. Big scholarship offers mean nothing if your baby girl isn't going to be safe.
*No one knows your graduate like you do. You will be their best advocate. Not every student will thrive 1500 miles away from home. In Kait's case, she didn't think she would thrive at A&M or t.u., as both seemed like extensions of our high school. What is great for one graduate isn't going to be great for another.
*Expect your graduates to become adults -- but not all at once. If you've ever watched a monarch hatch form a chrysalis, you know it takes time. Accepting a college offer comes with a LOT of deadlines. If your student isn't the type to just take that bull by the horns, it's okay to offer some leadership. Some of those missed deadlines can be expensive learning opportunities.
*Consider potential income when choosing a major / university. If your student is going to major in underwater basket weaving, please don't go with an out-of-state university or private college unless you are independently wealthy. The ROI just isn't there. Again, every graduate is different. But saddling our students with college loans that they will have no ability to pay in the future is doing them a huge injustice.
*Take the visits! Most schools have accepted student weekends. We weren't able to do this with Kait because of the COVID. When we flew into Virginia to take her to school, she proclaimed, "Y'all didn't tell me I was going to school in the mountains!" And two weeks AFTER school started we got a call that Virginia Tech didn't actually have her major after all. BLESS IT. So take the visits! See what the schools have to offer!
*DECIDE NOW. Every school is different -- but with MANY, if you accept their offer, and pay your deposit, you get on the front end of the dorm selection. This is KEY to minimizing the number of sleepless nights due to continuous fire alarms. (You've listened to me and joined the parent pages, right? So you know which dorms are the worst?) As I mentioned earlier, Ivy Day is about a month away. That means there are thousands of hopeful college graduates just waiting for those acceptances (or rejections.) As soon as Ivy Day hits, they are going to flood all the other admissions offices. If your darling graduate isn't Ivy League material, I highly recommend you get ahead of that mess. Make the decision, pay the deposit, and celebrate National Margarita Day tonight.
While coming back to my blog is fresh, it's part of an idea that's been percolating for awhile. Empty Nesters have so much knowledge to offer those who are coming along behind us! If you have ideas or suggestions to share, please comment below!
Also: This post has no affiliate links. Just advice I hope you find helpful!
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