Mom's Eulogy

Billie Sue Herring was born March 2, 1946, in Scurry County. A blessing to the home of W.P. “Bill” and Jimmie Herring of Dermott, she joined siblings Ray and Nelva in a life filled with fishing in the tank, reading Sunday Funnies, trips to the garden and a succession of dogs. At night, Nelva was charged with keeping her warm. She would burrow under the covers to the foot of the bed. “Billie Sue, what are you doing down there?” Nelva would ask. “I clean my toes out,” came the answer.

It’s often said that when you pass to over to the other side, and a headstone is erected at your grave, the dates of your birth and death don’t really matter. It’s what you do with the dash in between that really counts. While Sue’s time on Earth was relatively short, she made the most of her “dash.”

She attended school at Fluvanna, graduating in 1964. Being a Fluvanna Buffalo was quite the experience – school friends who became Friends for Life, stealing cotton bales from the gin and strategically placing them around town. During a party at Edith McKennah’s house, Sue managed to lock herself in a bathroom at the other end of the house. If you were lucky enough to spend any time at Mrs. McKennah’s house, you know that was a long ways from the party. Luckily, there was a phone in the bathroom, and Sue was able to get an operator to help rescue her.

Sue graduated from Lubbock Christian College in 1966 and Abilene Christian College in 1968 with a teaching degree. She taught school in Lubbock for several years.

She was blessed with three daughters, D’Lyn, M’Lys and A’Lise. As they remember their growing-up years, most of those memories involve cars. Whether it was the old blue Pontiac, a station wagon or the van they affectionately called the “beached whale,” she was always driving them somewhere. As a volunteer leader with the Borden County 4-H Club, she drove many a mile to stock shows, fashion shows, food shows…. anything 4-H had to offer. She rarely missed a basketball game or other activity, and there’s no telling how many miles could be attributed to orthodontist appointments.

Sue was a talented seamstress. She made most of the dresses, all of the formals and many of the other clothes the girls wore growing up. And of course, no outfit was complete without white eyelet lace or rick-rack.

In 2000, Sue added the title of “Granny” when Abbie Grayce was born. About that time, her daughters started hearing the name “Milton” more and more. She would often tell them he made her feel safe when he held her hands in his sturdy ones. On October 25, 2001, she married him. The whole family was thrilled – this Godly man knows how to drive a tractor. With Milton came a whole new slew of family -- Terry and Theresa (pronounced: Tressa) and their children Brantley and Abbey. Tobi and Gordon. And Todd. Emma and Raylee and Kaitlyn joined the crew in 2002.

Once a Granny, Sue was in her element. Showing off pictures and telling tales about the grandkids brought her so much joy. They all loved to pile in the pick-up and check the cows. She loved to watch soccer, baseball and softball games – rooting her grandkids on with the best of them. And no matter what they said or did, she was sure they were the smartest, most clever, most creative children that ever existed.

Sue and Milton loved to travel. Whether it was a trip to Ruidoso, an Alaskan cruise or a trip to Germany to visit Mike and Gudren, they were always ready for an adventure. Whether at home or abroad, much of their relationship centered around cooking and food – after all, in this family eating is an Olympic sport. Sue and Milton could always be counted on to provide a brisket, dressing, cobbler, or other dish whenever needed. And of course, no family gathering would have been complete without Sue’s famous pasta salad. While cooking brought so much pleasure, all would be put aside if the grandkids wanted to go check the cows.

Where Sue was concerned, taking care of things didn’t end at home. She was the secretary at Anderson & West C.P.A. in Snyder for 26 years and was secretary of the Snyder Ministerial Alliance. She was a board member of the Big Country Electric Co-op for several years and helped plan many Fluvanna Homecomings. She was a long-time member of the Fluvanna Church of Christ, seldom missing a church service. The faithful example she set for her children and others set about a chain reaction that will spread Christ’s love for years to come. Most recently, she was a member of the Gail Church of Christ.

When Jesus took Sue into his arms Saturday, July 21, she joined a whole host of loved ones gathered in Heaven. Her parents, Bill and Jimmie Herring, had preceded her in death and we know an army of Herrings, Watsons and Freemans welcomed her with open arms along with all the Fluvanna and Snyder crowd. While our hearts are breaking as we say good-bye, we know Sue is better now. We know she’s no longer in pain, that her suffering is over.

She is survived by her husband, Milton Stephens of Snyder; daughter and son-in-law, D’Lyn and John Biggs of Houston; daughter M’Lys Lloyd of Midland; daughter A’Lise Kern of Dallas; daughter and son-in-law Tobi and Gordon Daman of Midland; son Todd Stephens of Lueders; son and daughter-in-law Terry and Theresa Stephens of Snyder; brother Ray Herring of Fluvanna; sister Nelva Jones of Fluvanna; her step-mother, LaVerne Herring of Snyder and more nieces, nephews and “greats” than you could count.

Six grandchildren were not ready to lose their Granny and will miss her hugs and love. Abbie Grayce and Kaitlyn Biggs of Houston, Raylee and Emma Daman of Midland, and Brantley and Abbey Stephens of Snyder.

She loved each of you and under this list of survivors she would have wanted your name listed here, as well.

Funeral Service Details

Hello all,
We're still treading water around here.

Mom's service will be at 2:00 on Tuesday, at East Side Church of Christ in Snyder. Burial will be at the Fluvanna Cemetary. Visitation is from 6:00-7:00 p.m. Monday at Bell Cypert Seale in Snyder.

In lieu of flowers (I never imagined myself saying that), memorials can be made to the Breast Cancer 3-Day (www.the3day.org/dallas07/teamtiara ), the American Cancer Society's Relay for Life or the Fluvanna Cemetary Association.

Family Addresses are:
Milton Stephens, 8718 CR 2136, Snyder, TX 79549
John & D'Lyn Biggs, 15802 Applerock Trail, Cypress, TX 77433
M'Lys Lloyd, 2600 West Loop 250 North, Apt. 215, Midland, TX 79705
A'Lise Kern, 4849 Frankford Rd., #718, Dallas, TX 75287
Tobi & Gordon Daman, 3503 Claremont, Midland, TX 79707
Terry & Theresa Stephens, 2907 36th St., Snyder, TX 79549

Thanks for your love and prayers!
- d.

Mom's Gone

This morning while I typed my blog update, Mom slipped away. She was in dialysis -- she had to have it, but hadn't been able to tolerate it very well. Her blood pressure dropped and they lost her.

Biggs is on his way in. Tobi is taking M'Lys back to Midland to get what she needs and then on to Snyder. A'Lise is flying in, and I'll get her at the airport at about 4:00.

Yes, we're incredibly sad. But our Mom fought so bravely for so very long. Now that she's in Heaven, helping God run the show, we know she's not hurting any more. That was the hardest part -- seeing her hurt. So now there's no more of that.

Thanks for all your prayers.

Love you,
d.

Saturday

Hi all,
I apologize for going a couple of days between postings sometimes -- it just doesn't always work out to post every day.

Let's see.... The rodeo was great. Abbie and Max rode in the Grand Entry. She lost her stirrups at some point, but did great. Abbie, being the capitalist she is, was trying to figure out all the ways she could be involved in the rodeo -- and make money at it. She did the calf scramble and LOVED it. She wanted to know if there was a money prize for the best decorated horse in the Grand Entry. It was a hoot. She follows Uncle Max around like a puppy dog -- all nervous if she can't find him. She's very intent on keeping up with him.

Kaitlyn wasn't into the rodeo as much, but she'd already had her performance earlier in the day. When I drove up to Nelva's, Kait was in the front yard running through the sprinkler. Not a stitch of clothes on her. Something she'd never get to do in Houston, that's for sure. She was loving it!!!

After a couple of days of Grand Entry-riding and bread-baking at "The Other Granny's," they're headed to Aunt Donelle's today. She's been making plans for them -- they'd better watch out.

Mom is at dialysis this morning. If she can tolerate it, she needs 4 hours. But she's never gotten past about two. Treva and Mike are coming by today about noon with Redell. It'll be good to see them. Their son, Jordan, is one of our cousins in Iraq that we've been praying for. Mom and Treva have always had a special relationship -- I'm hoping she wakes up for them.

I tease her about giving me the silent treatment.

We had to take her rings off yesterday. That was hard. But her hands were getting so swollen. I'm going to try to find Milton a chain, so he can wear her wedding ring.

They did a scope Thursday night that just showed one ulcer that had a clot on it. Nothing that would cause this blood loss that she has had. They had to give her two units again last night. After they did the scope, they took out the tube that was in her nose because it appeared to be irritating her stomach -- when they did that, she threw up twice. Cleaning her up caused cold chills, and the anti-nausea medication caused her to be even more out of it. It's like the domino effect around here. One thing triggers 10 more.

We're basically where we were last weekend -- her blood pressure is low. The medicine for that causes her heart rate to race. Pretty much the same scene -- we just now have the blood loss added to the mix.

We really want to thank all of you for your comments and emails. We don't always have time to respond -- more often than not, we don't have that time at all. But we read every one. We appreciate those of you who show us that we will get through this -- the ones of you who have been where we are, made it through, and are able to minister to us from your experience. It's a club no one wants in.

The visits we have had help, too. True friends who will track you down in a sandwich shop when you aren't in the waiting room. Friends who'll leave you a note at dialysis with the one piece of information you really want to know -- did Mom recognize them and communicate with them. A treasured cousin / big sister who will take you to dinner in a REAL restaurant because you just need to be around "grown ups." Friends who just come to help you break the monotony -- even if it's just sitting with you and watching TV -- just so you don't have to do it alone.

We love you all and all the gifts of time, and love, and prayer that you bring us.

Much love,
d.

Grand Entry

I'm sitting here in Mom's kitchen -- the house is so empty and quiet. Daisy was sitting right by the front door when I drove up. On her chair -- just waiting for Mom & Milton to come home.

I stopped by to grab a couple of things on the way to Nelva's -- and use Mom's computer. I've gotten to be the master of bumming internet access wherever and whenever I can find it.

No real update on Mom. They're still trying to find out where she's losing all that blood. They had to give her two units last night. They're trying to wean her off the prednisone, so they can put her on the original steroids that they were using for her tumor. She's so sleepy. Sondra and Angela (used to be Evans) both came by today and she just really wouldn't acknowledge us. Milton has better luck getting her to open her eyes. He and Charlie Boaz got her to wake up a bit earlier today.

She still isn't able to tolerate an entire round of dialysis -- they had to take her off early again today because her blood pressure dropped too low. Her kidneys do seem to have a bit of function left -- so the infamous Dr. Rose is only ordering dialysis every other day.

They're trying hard to get her out of ICU. There are so many germs in there. All these random people come in bringing bajillions of germs with them -- then the nurses move around in that stew all day, spreading it around. They're afraid that if she's there much longer she'll get an even bigger infection that she can't fight.

I'm not sure what's next -- the charge nurse at nights has pretty much taken over Mom. She's awesome -- and really watches out for her. She said we needed to be thinking about where to go next -- whether it's around the clock care at home or going to long-term acute care.

THIS IS NOT WHAT WE SIGNED UP FOR!!!!!!!

Last night, Carla and I went to dinner, and brought dinner back for Milton. Then when he left, I got ready to settle in. Well, the waiting room just got busier and busier. At 10:00, people were showing up in their pajamas and brewing pots of coffee. Lisa, the charge nurse we think so much of, sent me back to the hotel, promising she'd call if ANYTHING happened. Milton came and got me, and I got a good night's sleep. It helped.

Nelva got the girls yesterday afternoon -- they were thrilled to be going to the "other Granny's" house. The rodeo starts tonight, and Abbie, Uncle Max and Simon are going to ride in the Grand Entry. Yes, Nelva knows how to get me out of Lubbock -- she's smart. How could I miss seeing Abs ride in her first Grand Entry??? I have always loved the Grand Entry -- every time I hear that music it brings back memories of the parade and then picnics in the park with all the Herrings, Joneses, Beavers, Belews.... anyone we could fit in. Grandad picking up fried chicken on the way. Someone always brought watermelon. And Aunt Opal's fried pies..... Mmmmmmm.......

I'd better get headed that way.

Thanks for all your prayers!

We love you!
- d.

Wednesday Update (I think this is Wednesday!)

Hi all,
We're still plugging away at the ICU thing. If you hear about a bar-room brawl type thing in the Lubbock ICU waiting room, don't worry. Things did get a bit tense in there a couple of nights ago, but I figured I could run faster than the other gal. So we're all good.

Mom is still hanging in there. Night before last, I asked our nurse what the best-case scenario is. She said that Mom would hang on like this for months. That doesn't sound "best" to me -- I'm just not ready to accept that.

She's still "in there." Last night, when Carla and I told her good-night, she said, "I love you." Carl and I barely made it to the door before we lost it all-together. This is just so hard -- I don't know how we can do this for months. Not the exhaustion thing -- I can handle that. It's the having your heart ripped out every time you walk in there that I'm handling too well.

M'Lys came back in today. I haven't seen her, but she's here somewhere. I'm at Brent & Paige's church right now -- bumming their computer. The girls and I are supposed to meet up with Granny Nelva sometime today, so they can go home with her. Uncle Max had better watch out -- Abbie's already making plans for Simon. She's pretty sure Simon is her horse -- and just on loan to Max when she's not there.

They're still trying to find out where all Mom's blood is going -- there's some talk of doing a scope. Her nutritionist says his mix of carbs & proteins seems to be working well. And the results from yesterday's CAT scans still aren't in.

That's the scoop for now -- wish I had more.

Love you all,
d.

Significant Progress!!!!

Things are much better here today. Mom is much more alert, and we've had a few actual conversations!!!! She has admitted that she does have a crush on Dr. Rose and likes being his "pet." It's great to be able to talk to her. They have just put a tube down her throat so they can do a CAT scan with barium tomorrow. There's bleeding going on somewhere, so they are trying to figure all that out. Yesterday, they said her blood loss was due to some auto-immune anemia thing, but Dr. Rose says that just doesn't add up. So they're trying to figure it all out.

Our girls are doing great -- they're with Brent and Paige this week. Paige has checked them into VBS. We were so upset when they left The Branch, but now it's such a blessing to have them here in Lubbock.

M'Lys has an interview for a teaching position in Midland, so she's gone back to do that tomorrow. Please pray for that as well. She needs a job there.

Thank you so much for all your prayers -- we serve a mighty God, and He's listening to you!!!
Much love,
d.

p.s. We have a contract pending on the house in McKinney!!! Yea God!!!!

More of the same.....

Hi guys. I'm sitting here with M'Lys and A'Lise on a naugahyde couch in the waiting room. How many Naugas does it take to make a couch? No one seems to know around here, and I'm not sure anyone but me thinks that's funny.

Things here are tough. Mom's vital signs are bouncing around like ping-pong balls. She looks somewhat better today, but medically that doesn't seem to be the case. Her blood volume goes down quite a bit on occasion, and they aren't totally sure why -- ulcers? internal bleeding? No one seems to know for sure.

She's not as alert today as she was yesterday -- it's harder to get her to come out of the depths to get an answer. I had her listening to my IPod while ago -- Jim Brickman's piano music. I asked her if she wanted to listen to more -- she said, "yes." So we did.

We've decided that the much-talked about "Dr. Rose" must be her latest crush. (If I can have a crush on Craig Biggio, I guess she can have a crush on Dr. Rose. He is quite a "looker.") Anyway, she will answer him far more than any of the rest of us -- when he asked her if she was in pain, she said, "no," and immediately followed it with, "but I lie a lot."

We look for humor wherever we can find it. Nelva used the men's restroom all day on Friday -- she preferred it. Apparently it has a window -- she liked that.

We're hanging in there -- it's tough but your prayers mean the world to us. It's like Carla and I were talking about the other day. We've known that the dialysis route would be coming at some point. I guess I always thought that when we go there, we'd know it was time to really worry. But then, this tumor stuff came up in June. At that point, I thought once we got a game plan and knew what was going on, I'd sort it all out. And now we're here. It's all way too fast.

There is a new tumor or something near the one on her skull -- they aren't sure what it is. The morphine helps alleviate any pain, so she's comfortable. The ICU nurses are amazing -- they just let us in whenever we want, for however we need to be there.

I'm going to sign off for now -- We love you all.

- d.

Saturday afternoon

Since D'Lyn is with her mom in Lubbock, she has asked me to be her guest "blogger" and post the most recent information about Sue. I am John's mom, Jacquie Biggs, and will attempt to share the ever changing situation of Sue's health.
The doctors still have her on dialysis everyday, but other complications have developed. Sue's heart rate is jumping all over the place (over 200 at one point) while her blood pressure is extrememly low. She is in considerable pain, but they are giving her morphine to keep her as comfortable as possible. Sue is extremely weak -- almost "inert" says D'Lyn.
All of the family is in Lubbock or on the way. John is flying out at 5:00 pm. this afternoon.
Not good news at this point. Please continue to pray for Sue, D'lyn, and all the family. They all love Sue so very much. D'Lyn appreciates your emails and blog comments, so keep those coming.

ICU Waiting rooms -- not exactly the Taj Mahal

A'Lise and I made it to Lubbock okay. The girls are at Carla's dodging the rattlesnakes. Mom is critical right now - according to the doctor, her bloodwork is a train wreck. Her creatnine level this morning was 8-something -- up from 4.3 last weekend. She's out of it -- will wake up for a couple of words but that's it. They started dialysis this afternoon. She's on supplemental oxygen, but not a vent. Her lungs are clear, so that's good.

One good thing, is that they will be able to do the contrast MRI now. So maybe we can find out what this is that she's fighting as far as this tumor goes.

A'Lise and M'Lys have gotten a hotel room, and we're sending Milton back to his hotel for a good night's rest. I'm hijacking a hotel pillow and will hang out with Mom tonight. I can't sleep in her cubby with her, but I'll be as close as they'll let me.

Thanks for your prayers.

Please pray for us.

Mom is in the emergency room. Her kidneys have shut down, and they're asking M'Lys and Milton about a ventilator. The girls and I are headed home.

Please pray for all of us.
- d.